Buongiorno Meran!

This morning is gorgeous.  It is a mixture of what you might think Switzerland, Austria, and Italy combined might look like, cause thats exactly what it is!  It snowed in the mountains and the skies are completely clear blue.  E una bella giornata.

Today I have many thoughts swirling through my head.  First, as I walked through town this morning I am realizing how awesome it is to know a foreign city so well and feel like you know the man on the corner selling bratwursts, the beggar who sits every morning in the same place on my walk to school, or the barista that makes your cafe macchiato every other day, or the other barista that makes your cappuccino on the other days [I drink coffee sometimes...] Even though we never really speak, there is kind of an unspoken recognition of each other that makes me feel like I have truly lived here and am not just a visitor.

Although two months is hardly a long amount of time in one's life, these two months in my life will offer so many things to my future self.  When I first arrived, I would celebrate the small victories like: ordering un cafe o un gelato in italiano, riding the bus by myself, understanding a few words in Italian, and picking up Beatrice from school and having a calm and uneventful afternoon with her.  Now I am noticing that my victories have become a bit bigger: when I understand whole conversations in Italian, meeting new friends and immediately feeling a connection, still feeling victorious to have a great day with Beatrice, speaking broken Italian to someone who actually understands it [!], and feeling more and more like I have figured out what it could be like to build a life in a foreign country.

I have learned about feeling lonely, scared and isolated in a completely new place, but I have also learned to cherish the moments when I feel alive, joyful and connected with other people.  Those are the moments we live for my friends.  Nobody will be without challenges but those challenges just come with the moments where the joy is just bursting from you or you can't wipe the smile off your face because in that moment, you are truly happy.  

Yet through all this feeling challenged and isolated, I have realized I am so fortunate. I have lived a relatively uneventful, normal life which is incredible to me when I hear stories of what other people have experienced.  What I see as challenges are probably laughable to some.  I have a healthy family that I get along with really well, I have supportive and loving friends, I have had incredible growing experiences, I have seen some of what the world has to offer and I have never been in need.  How can I ever give back to what I feel like I do not deserve?  So for my idea of "giving back" I think its important not to take these things for granted and be reminded to be thankful for everything that I have been given.  Because sometimes I forget, as many of us do, how much we really have to be thankful for.

I came upon a quote recently that stuck with me.  "Time is like a river, you cannot touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass again." After experiencing up close the harshness and the flow of the river [at camp], I think I have a decent understanding of this.  I want to be someone who lives in the moment and doesn't look back and say, why didn't I do that? Or wow I wish I would have done that when I had the chance.  Which brings me to my next topic... Because of a few select reasons, {one of which being my wanderlust won't shut up} I have decided to leave Merano a little early to do some more traveling.

I have mixed feelings about this.  I feel irresponsible for spending more money than I had planned, guilty for breaking an agreement for staying here longer, wishing I had time for all of the things, and sad to leave my brand new friends and [host] family here in Merano.  BUT I also feel excited to see friends around Europe, courageous for doing something out of the ordinary, and I feel at peace with my future self who would regret missing the chance to do this.  My wanderlust self and my reasonable self are conflicting so hard, but wanderlust wins the ticket so here I go.  I have time to be reasonable the rest of my life, right?

Anywho, more about that later.  This weekend was the grape festival in Merano which we took advantage of.  I will share some pictures but it is basically like it sounds.  Lots of traditional food stands, beer and wine, people dressed in traditional clothes, bands playing in various spots around town and a parade to finish.  Also this week I {finally} got in touch with other au pairs in town.  I have immediately felt accepted and connected with the group and will look forward to going out and getting to know them a little before I leave.  Bummer this didn't happen sooner, but I guess I had some lessons to learn on my own?

Arrividerci for now friends.  Thanks, as always for reading :)

Chestnuts!

Traditional Dress