Counting my blessings with a broken heart

As everyone has heard, Paris was targeted for terrorist attacks this week.  I was there only a week ago, which is incredibly surreal and scary to think about.  There are so many innocent people in Paris and I am thinking about how easily I could also be in their shoes.  It didn't feel right to post more about my travels after this and I want to show my sensitivity to this horrific moment in history, so my post about Florence will wait.

I received a few texts from friends before I had even heard what happened.  My best friend, Taylor texted me first just saying she was thinking about me and hoping that I would stay safe.  This is not unusual for our relationship, but I figured something must be up.  I was with friends when I heard what had happened, and we immediately began googling more about it.  I am struck with the horror of the violence and lack of humanity in these acts of terror.  My heart breaks for the victims and also for the innocent Muslim people that will be subject to increasing racism all over the world after this event.

I am really struggling with finding words to say.  I don't want to sound dramatic or ignorant, because I am not even in a bad situation- its just the possibility of me being there and the closeness of the event has made me really think hard about my life and what I want to be about and the things that are most important to me.

The life things that have been brought to mind are these:

My family.  Man, am I ever increasingly thankful for my family.  I want to cherish the times we are together and continue to work at being a good sister, daughter and granddaughter to show how much each member of my family means to me.  You guys are the best!  I love our huge and sometimes quirky family, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My dreams.  Woof, I have so many dreams in this life that I hope to accomplish.  There won't be enough time for all of them but I want to actively work on pursuing the dreams that are most important to me.  Go after what you want with passion! There is not enough time to waste waiting for the next big thing to happen.  Its happening now!

My attitude.  I want to be someone who lives with a grateful and kind heart.  Obviously I am a human and am guilty of wanting more or complaining about something that really isn't that bad, but wow yes I want to continue to work on being mindful and thankful for each moment that life throws at me.  Every day, good or bad, can offer new knowledge about the world.

My political knowledge.  Maybe this one sounds strange, but I want to know the names of the presidential candidates, I want to know what is happening in the war, I want to do a better job of informing myself about what is happening in this world around me.  I 100% do not want to be perceived as an ignorant, rich American that doesn't care what is happening because in America I am miles and miles away from the horrors that are taking place around the world.

Thanks to my friends and family for being concerned about my safety, but no worries even in Italy I am far from the events happening in Paris.  As of now, your concern is better directed towards the wounded and grieving families of the victims as well as innocent Muslim people around the world - the people whose lives will drastically change as a result of these events.

That is all for now my friends.  What have these acts of terror made you think about your life?